An affair can deeply destabilize a relationship, bringing shock, grief, anger, confusion, and a profound loss of trust. Some couples come to therapy knowing they want to repair the relationship. Others are still trying to understand what happened, whether trust can be rebuilt, and what it would take to move forward. Affair recovery is not simply about improving communication. It often requires a careful, structured process that can hold intense emotion, support accountability, and help both partners begin making sense of what has happened.

As a psychologist trained in the Gottman Method, I offer structured, evidence-based couples therapy in Burnaby, Vancouver, and online across BC and the Yukon for couples working through affairs and other serious breaches of trust. My work is also informed by advanced trauma training, which helps me support not only the injury between partners, but also the shutdown, defensiveness, shame, panic, overwhelm, and mistrust that often emerge in the aftermath of betrayal.

In our work together, we draw on the Gottman Trust Revival Method: atonement, attunement, and attachment. Early in the process, the focus is often on slowing things down, creating structure around difficult conversations, making space for the injured partner’s pain and questions, and helping the involved partner respond with greater honesty, accountability, and empathy. This stage is not about rushing toward forgiveness or trying to move on too quickly. It is about helping couples establish enough safety and stability for meaningful repair to begin.

As therapy progresses, we begin to explore the relationship dynamics, disconnection, and vulnerabilities that shaped the context around the affair, while remaining clear that context does not excuse betrayal. From there, the work can shift toward rebuilding trust, strengthening emotional connection, and creating a relationship that feels more honest, secure, and resilient.

Affair recovery is difficult and deeply personal work. With the right structure and support, therapy can help couples find clarity, begin repair, and decide how they want to move forward. If your relationship has been impacted by an affair or another serious breach of trust, couples therapy can offer a steady and focused place to begin.